What is an Initiation?
an initiation is an assignment given to you by life itself. It’s not always something you have asked for yourself, it is something you are asked to do by something that is bigger than yourself, the divine. It’s a deep jump into the unknown, you don’t know upfront what the outcome will be, nor do you have a clue how you will get there. It’s both you don’t know what it is, and at the same time, you do know what it is. The “don’t know” part is more on a conscious level, when people would ask what is wrong, it’s often difficult to put into words what it exactly is, feels like a rambling story. And the “do know” is more on a subconscious level, a hunch, a vague feeling, a dream that keeps on repeating itself, certain life issues that keeps on repeating itself with different situations, different people but with a similar energetic undertone. And that energetic undertone that is the initiation.
How is an Initiation different from an Intention?
an intention is something you consciously set yourself. You have a clear view of what the outcome will be and you go on a creative transformation journey to get guidance, inspiration and insight on how to get there. It is you yourself who consciously sets it in motion and you have a clear view of where you want to go and what you are asking for. The difference with an initiation is that an intention has a much clearer outcome, you know where you want to go, while with an initiation, you go a creative transformation journey without knowing where it will lead you exactly into, it’s more an energetic undertone that sets something in motion, while with intentions it’s more the desires and wishes that drive the journeys.
What was your Initiation for this Soul Art Shaman journey?
autonomy
What are the 4 Spirit Elements explored through this Soul Art Shaman journey?
soul family, essence, purpose, medicine
Upload a photo of your most significant Spirit Element Soul Art piece
Final Shaman Exam, Dec 2021
What did you learn from the Spirit Elements that was significant for your Initiation?
your birth family is something you are stuck with for the rest of your life, it’s not something you have chosen consciously yourself, it’s simply the parents you were born out of and the family you grew up in. I know in some spiritual tradition it is also said that as a soul you also choose your birth family too, but that is not something I consciously work with. The fact is who your parents and siblings are, you simply are stuck with it for the rest of your life and something you have to deal with it. You can’t change them like a house, a job, a relationship, friends etc
What I have learned of this spirit element is moving through the classes of this shamanic level is that I can change how I respond towards the people in my birth family. I don’t depend on them anymore as I did as a kid. Also, I am not responsible for their health and well-being and there is no official law that says as a kid I am obliged to take care of my parents when they grow older and need help. I am allowed to say NO, and especially no one can force me to stay in touch with my parents.
I am allowed and I am able to set up clear boundaries towards my parents especially my mother, as I did in the last year. Saying no towards my mother felt like finally feeling a bottom in my existence. Also when later this year the contact got restored, doing it on my terms and even got respected in it. When there were many things that needed to be organized and done around my parents (my father had a stroke and my mother is a great drama in itself) which in the past I would have done all this to the expense of my own health, I did not do now, that gap was filled by other people, it got solved in a different way and the world did not collapse. My parents have moved to a nursing home this month and their house will sold next year. Currently I am staying in their old house (they are out of it now) clearing and sorting stuff out so it can sold. It’s like the journey started here in January doing the expression for the first class in their garden and I complete my journey here. I did my last workshop here and also sending my exam from this place. It’s a good bye, completion, closure and a hello, opening, new beginning at the same time
Another part I learned from this instead of being busy all the time seeing if I can organize social support for my parents as I did in the last 4 to 5 years a couple of times to help them to solve their problems and starting to become a new codependent sick pattern, I started to realize I have to organize social support for myself to get my own life on track. I set this in motion last fall and resulted in a personalized support program designed by myself yet fitting within the system, same as I did with my trauma therapy and on January 4, I have my first appointment with my new coach for a year-long coaching program.
another part that came out of this element is, in another training, I did this fall, is that I have the capability and the option to initiate project myself and that I can choose myself the people where I want to work with and which ones not. It was a series of stakeholders interviews that I did for this training. I adapted it to my version of doing it and while doing it, somewhere the light was turned on when I realized that I was now in the position to choose who I wanted to talk to and who not.
It’s in that a different attitude towards my parents, taking back the responsibility for my own life instead of being busy with organizing that of other people and discovering that I can initiate projects and other things myself and choose the people I want to work with wherein I experienced a new awakening of my autonomy.
Interesting about these elements is, although they are spiritual elements I saw a lot of earth life transformation happening through them, in the physical-visible real-life experiences in my relationship with people and my connection with the outside world
What are the 4 Earth Elements explored through this Soul Art Shaman journey?
water, earth, air and fire
Upload a photo of your most meaningful Earth Element Soul Art piece.
What did you learn from the Earth Elements that was meaningful for your Initiation?
the earth element that stood out to me is ‘air”. It’s the ventilator in the picture, I found it aside the road on a walk through my neighbourhood and intuitively took it home, and later by itself, it found its place in a soul part piece. Another thing in the picture is, something that I had laid out on the ground as one big piece cut up into 25 different pieces all lying in place and the moment I want to take a picture the wind blows into a totally different installation. It made me aware of again that difference of what I think it should be trying to squeeze into that or giving it space (air) to let it fall in place by itself and let life guide itself.
Connected to this experience is, in August in our monthly ritual call I asked you a question about soul art and its use in the business world, I was wondering how to do that. It’s then more asking the question that opens the door to receive the answer. A few weeks later I was talking to a neighbour about her daughter doing a certain trauma therapy somewhere in the Netherlands and the centre was called the U-center. I felt triggered by it and I googled it, found it, explored their website and ended up with something called “theory U”. Google further, and eventually I end up at the source ,the founder of Theory U, Otto Scharmer and his institute “the presenting institute”. There I found a training called “U-lab, leading from the future emerging” which started just a few weeks later in September and that was exactly what I was looking for to make to find some transformational training to more focusses on the business part. I could not have looked for it or searched for it because I had no clue this existed, it more or less found me.
Like how spiritual elements help to take the physical reality to take shape in a new way, the physical elements also have a deep spiritual connection by blowing the answers towards. Almost like one is the bridge towards the other.
What is a Channel in the context of a Soul Art Shaman?
the channel in the bridge between higher self and humanity, in the context of a soul art shaman it’s the instrument that determines the level of clarity, accuracy, intuition, the ability to follow through on things, see clearly, trusting the knowing without proof, being able to exist in the world as a spiritual being. It’s your physical and spiritual being and your ability to connect those two and let visions, guidance, insights, ideas etc flow through you.
What happened to your Channel through this Soul Art Shaman journey?
my biggest challenge in this level of soul art was to understand what my channel now actually meant to me. I do understand all the explanations of it, but I lacked the understanding on a physical experiencing level. I then often get lost in those things of people “channelling messages from the other side” while doing they start talking in other voices or start speaking on behave of Jesus or Maria Magdalena or whoever. I feel zero connection to that.
In this level, I got a deeper understanding of what my channel is and for me, that is my body. The physical awareness of things, how do things feel, what I sense, inside my body but also outside around my body. Another part is understanding how my channel works. Movement and dance are ways for me to channel things through to understand invisible energies and at the same time, it is a certain amount of common sense., with both feet firmly on the ground and staying true to myself, what are my ideas about something and how do I understand it.
through the year my channel has become clearer and more grounded, the spiritual connection never was an issue for me, that part of the channel always stood and stands wide open. The struggle was at the physical part of reality. Through the year I noticed I start more firmly and more grounded on my feet, I have a clearer stronger earth connection. The biggest shift in this is the change of my attitude towards my parents, putting myself first, organizing more matching support for myself and following through with things like the series of workshops it did during this soul art level and signing up for the U-lab training as mentioned before.
There is a higher trust in myself and in my channel. Even when things sometimes go wrong or have another outcome than expected. I find it now more important I do them, or have done them, or tried them out, rather than doing them perfectly, progress over perfection.
Another part of this is, for one of the classes I contributed a story for an e-book about Jordan. I spent a lot of time writing that story and at a certain moment, I saw myself trying to make it better and better, having more ideas etc until I noticed what I was doing, trying to put too much in one piece. At a certain moment, the story was good enough and all the other ideas I got are great entrances for writing new Jordan stories for a blog series on my website called ‘sense Jordan”. Giving the ideas more space and time to channel through instead of trying to squeeze it all into one story. Also with things, I got this experience instead of spending a lot of time in trying to improve something, just decide at a moment that is good enough and use the time and energy to create new objects or project.
What is a Realm in the context of a Soul Art Shaman?
A realm is a frequency, it’s information from where you are going to, moving into, what you are transforming into, who you are becoming.
I experience a realm as a layer of invisible energy around me, it is already there, ready to be embodied and become reality. I connect with it through the nervous system/tactile sense, I experience it as a rooting into the invisible and footing in the visible. The realm itself I experience as a deep silence, a timeless emptiness. Sitting down in silence is the key, the body’s nervous system (and tactile sense) is the portal to connect with the realm of the unknown, the timelessness emptiness of the unknown.
What Realm have you been working with to realize your Initiation?
It’s more looking at it in retrospect, so looking back on it, it’s the realm of connection. Keeping your self-connection while connecting with the outside world and other people. Experiencing where I lose my connection and how I can restore that connection. This has a lot to do with my connection with my mother and the change that has happened in there this year. My realm guide was the Zebra, union of black and white, the Zebra being part of the group while each Zebra has its very unique striping pattern. How to be part of something bigger while still keeping my unique striping pattern and don’t get lost in the grey mass.
another realm element is the hexagon structure which I connect with the tree, photosynthesis reaction light, oxygen and sugar (sugar has a hexagon molecule structure). Oxygen gives me space, air to breathe, allowing myself the time and space to do something and sugar, the sweetness of life, what do I enjoy doing and what brings me joy. Letting that be the guidance in choosing things that I want to do and don’t want to do. People I want to connect with and people I don’t want to connect with.
I don’t mean joy here that everything is fun, that kind of superficial understanding, but more some kind of true enjoyment and fulfilment, driven from an inner source which will also include dark moments, challenges etc. yet still there is a joy of a wanting to do it, that is moving it forward.
What are the 3 steps in Soul Art Shaman journeys?
explore, express, embody
Describe the 3 steps in Soul Art Shaman journeys.
Explore: First, you start exploring the spiritual or earth element of that class (fire, earth, water, air, medicine, soul family, purpose, essence) how do you relate them, what are their qualities and characteristics (earth elements), how do you experience them (spirit elements), how do they feel to you, how have they show up in earlier, creative journeys and what were they telling you then. It’s all about getting a clearer understanding of how you a particular earth or spirit element speaks to you.
express: once having a clearer understanding of how a certain element speaks to you, you are going on a soul art journey to give expression to it and create an art piece. You then let that piece show you (or teach you) how it wants to be integrated into the world. What is that particular element that is coming to your channel that wants to flow through you into the ecosystem of the world or in other words how does it want to connected to so something bigger?
embody: is a form of spirit action of “doing it” in which you embody the medicine, the insight you gathered in the soul art journey you did with that specific element with the crucial difference that in case you do something that goes “beyond yourself” and has an outer connection with the world or ecosystem, like guide a workshop, exhibit a painting, post a video on social media sharing your insights etc. Be your medicine and share your medicine in the world.
Upload a photo of the most transformational Embodiment from your Soul Art Shaman journey.
How did you grow, evolve, heal, or transform through your Soul Art Shaman Initiation?
the most important part in this level for me was the outer connection, for each of 8 element classes + the final class, each requiring an outer embodiment to complete the class. I have had moments I cursed this level for that (inside myself, never outer rants) because those were a huge challenge for me. Yet I did want to complete this level, so I simply started doing them, posting a video of who I am and what I do and have been doing in the last 5 years on LinkedIn for “soul family”. Posting something like that on Instagram or Facebook won’t have been a challenge for me, I had already done that, this was. I feared, yet something deeper also wanted to do it and I did it (and it is still there). That really opened up something. Similar to the workshops I did for this level, they started with “having to do it to complete the class” and over the course transformed into wanting to do it driven from an inner source. Seeing them as opportunities to practice, to learn, to try out, to expand. It’s a remembering who I truly am, I love these things of exploring new areas, developing new parts inside myself, being on my own journey. Even when things are not always easy and I make mistakes, the liking of it is in the experience itself. It’s difficult to explain, but for example, I only understand when I put too much in one workshop when I have had that first hand experience. When you are in the middle of it and more or less get stuck in the moment and realize “oh yes, this and this would have been enough”. It’s not so much that there is so much joy in the moment itself but it is that learning by doing or discovering by doing, is what I like, it’s for me the ultimate self-development. There is where my growth is, where my self-expansion is. I don’t care so much then what other people might think of it, I am more focused on my own learning. I may sound selfish and maybe it is, but the more I am in that zone, the better the workshops go, and the easier the contact with people is. This I consider my biggest growth during this level. There are more things. How the situation and relationship with my parents have changed, the support for the year the to come I have organized this fall for myself, the workshops I did this year (the real-life ones) that will have a follow-through in the new year (at least one more workshop to come and maybe more) etc. Things got more grounded, more clear and the one part I have struggled with the most within the whole certification, the outer connection, there I have moved through a barrier and something has changed.
What has blossomed through your Initiation?
following through with the workshops, and finding a way of doing it where I feel comfortable with.
taking more distance from my parents and their issues, especially my mother.
completion of two modules of Dutch open university on art history, eventually my conclusion was that my art history is not something that really interests me, the interest lies more in the history of the area around mediterran sea, and an art history module about the renaissance in Italy fits into that. Also I had a connection with the time I lived in Italy almost 30 years ago. It’s exactly that difference between a structure that makes logic sense to other people, soul art combined with some modules of art history and what makes naturally sense to me, and a different explanation. I had lost contact with that and this year that inner connection has been restored. It’s a blossoming of a natural structure, rooted inside myself.
the proces they way with:
A soul art shaman is someone who uses art, creativity and rituals to bridge earth and spirit to bring guidance, insight, inspiration and ideas into this reality. They go on creative journeys to connect from both the visible, earthside making the connection with the invisible world to access higher sources of collective wisdom going beyond this reality and from the invisible, spirit side bringing that higher intelligence down into this reality. It’s the creative process that makes the connection (communion) and the actual art piece that gives the invisible energies a face that enables communication and grounds the energies Shamanic soul art guides also use (creative) ritual in their process to support transformation processes that take place in shamanic creative journeys
what they do:
A Soul Art Shaman is someone who knows how to transform the difficulties of life, “pain and black” into renewal and expansion and makes from an upheaval an uplevel or a Soul Art Shaman connects with the difficult feelings and uses art and creativity to give expression to them to transform it into something new and expansive.
How do you intend to be a Soul Art Shaman in the world?
To continue the journey on the path where I am on now, keep on transforming pain and black in renewal and expansion. Yet looking back on my journey, it has been a lot of about “inner expression an exploration of the dark”, reflecting back on the past, healing, transforming it and also recreating it, the journey forward I want to move into “inner expression an exploration of the light” and look forward and start creating forward and more leading from the future that wants to emerge through us. I mentioned earlier the course I have done this fall, the U-lab training of the presencing institute and currently, I am exploring how I could follow through with that joining by “U-lab 2.0 from prototype to ecosystem impact” that starts in February 2022. Building a prototype around personal leadership and shamanic creativity. I have more ideas, but the essence of it is, that I want to build and create my own life, initiate projects myself, look around and reach out to people where I want to work with, (and which ones not). Using the same shamanic soul art tools as I did so far for healing and transforming now using them to create something into this world. Leading from the light. The year of “inner expression, an exploration of the light”.
Do you have any additional thoughts or notes you wish to share about your Soul Art Shaman journey?
I started my soul art journey in the fall of 2015 with the New Icon Movie that was the first step wherein I got to know you and got introduced to your work. I joined the Icon Movie film rituals you offered then for free and I was “sold” or “sould”, I loved the rituals, creating my first earth installation, a totem etc. I also sent in my iconic essence to apply for a free scholarship to the nu-icon program. I did not get the scholarship but I truly enjoyed creating my first soul art expression, which I called “an in-between of double energy”. In December 2015 I wanted to join the nu-icon program but I simply did not have the money for it. Six months later in June 2016 luckily I did have the money to join the soul art certification “body mapping”. Another milestone I experienced in there was the ‘spirit action”. At that time in life everything I touched felt like turning into mud and I then decided to let it be mud and I put it all over my body and when I rinsed it off and saw the mud on the earth and I realized when the mud dries it is a new solid foundation of sand.
Continuing journey the journey of body mapping, chakra’s, spirit guides, shaman combined with energy mapping, creation and again the shaman level, it all has been one big transformational where my life foundation was in transformation (the water with the sand fluid mud) and through the journey the mud started to dry and eventually the mud has transformed into the sand a new solid foundation to stand on, and I feel that is where I am now in my journey, almost exactly 6 years later, ready to embark a new chapter in my life. It’s like where I started as an in-between of double energy, I have found a new foundation at the bottom of the abyss, that connects that double energy.
As I am sitting here in the house of my parents closing of a chapter here of their life and also my life, the painful memories of the past, bringing something to completion. By sending in it this exam on 31 December 2021 I also bring this to completion, the final level, the final class, the final exam, it’s done, it’s complete. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your feedback, support, the clashes we had at moments, giving me a new opportunity to continue my journey, the monthly rituals, the one on ones I had with you, it all has contributed to where I am now, and well yes that is it. Thank you!! And let’s see what 2022 will bring for all of us.