tower of babel
What is your soul art shaman initiation?
Space with an energetic undertone of follow-through
What do you uderstand about your initiation now?
I feel a desire that it all becomes more grounded, clearer and integrated, that it, all that I have done and I do, gets a follow-through into something concrete and connects to something bigger that goes beyond me. This is new territory for me, I feel a desire to move into that new land. Making connections with the real world (that is everything off the internet) and renewed connections (real world and online) wherein I initiate and create. Embodied steps in this journey of this, see spirit actions.
What is your channel in the context of being a soul art shaman?
In energy-mapping working with soul star, core star, earth star, earth realm, spirit realm, that is the channel. It's the connection between earth and spirit, your human and higher self.
As a soul art shaman your channel is the instrument that determines your level of clarity accuracy, intuition, the ability to follow through, acting on impulses. the ability to see clearly and having that knowing without always able to explain why, trusting the intuition
It's your capacity to allow visions insights, wisdom and inspiration to move through you. If there are issues, physical, emotional, or maybe old dreams that have not been tended to, they clog up the channel. It's important then to take action to clear the channel so you are able to access the information, interpret it, and follow-through with it.
I remembered a phrase out of the book “the body keeps the score” of Bessel van der Kolk about complex trauma. He says in there somewhere for people with deep complex trauma it is difficult to know exactly what they want and how to do it When I connect this to myself I find it very difficult to know what I want and how to do it, I get lost inside myself and all the possibilities of shoulds, coulds, woulds+have to and now allowed to, mainly coming from outside, and told to me by people from outside. This made me aware that this is connected to my trauma and it is this complex trauma that is disturbing my trauma (I prefer the word disturbing above clogging). The trauma therapy I currently do is a way of clearing and re-aligning my channel.
tower of babel
pasquino, talking statue
pasquino, talking statue
#callingofthezebra
what did you learn about your channel through the soul art process?
A complex trauma starting in early childhood and rooted in every aspect of my life has caused a deep disconnection inside myself and huge disturbance in my channel. It has become a thread (and tread) in my life which repeats itself over and over again causing physical, mental, emotional issues rippling out in all other areas of life. Last year, hearing someone sharing about her experiences with trauma therapy, I made the connecting with myself, I realized that is my problem, “complex trauma”. This resulted in exploring it deeper. More clarity came when I read about depersonalisation and derealisation. I thought that's me, that is how I dissociate. Currently I am in trauma therapy. What seems to be crucial in this is, that I first do my full-spectrum research to know the therapy options and the institutes offering it. I have a sense of what is possible, and I know the lay of the land. Based on that I get an idea of what I want and how I want it. Once that is clear, so AFTER I have done my research, then set it all in motion to get it organized. I experience this “the other way around”, It gives me the feeling of I am in charge, I choose and I decide for myself. It's that personal leadership.
Clarity in communication, real-life experiences in this journey.
Recently I applied at the municipality to get a specific training funded that fitted in a certain regulation. I did my preparation work, made several phone calls, sorted my stuff out, sent the email with the information needed, more phone calls and in the end, the answer NO denied!!! Part of the information I provided, doing all this work, was used against me. I felt unfair and unjustified. I was so furious and decided to stand up for myself, take the confrontation, in a firm yet polite enough way. This was not working, the anger got worse and worse. Going through the layers, in the process, somewhere in it, I got a clear moment wherein I was able to see through it. I sent another email still firm yet less emotional and more businesslike in tone, explaining the situation from my side, why I reacted the way I reacted and I including some layers of understanding from their point of view. Then I suggested a solution that would do right to my needs and at the same respecting the rules of regulations etc. That worked!!! I got what I wanted for now. Also, this upheaval resulted in more clarity and grounding by re-organization of my personal situation and a new door of (future) possibilities and opportunities opened up. It is an act of taking a few steps back to move forward in a more grounded comfortable easier way
What was your channel spirit action?
-Joining a full-day workshop which was a combination of soul art and haptonomie, real-life, face to face (It was the workshop paid for by the municipality, see the clarity in communication experience) I did this on
-#callinofthezebra, a 40-day journey I started at 22-11-2020, 33 days till Christmas eve and 40 days till New Year's Eve (when it will be complete). Creating a FB group for it and inviting a group of other “Zebra's” to join me on this journey.
How did you actively work with your channel throughout the 21-day cycle?
I worked with an active real-life size transforming altar including myself in it. I used different materials representing “channel” and “space” playing with new and old, brittle and solid, disturbed and aligned. I bought a roll of canvas to represent “channel” and worked with two old soul art pieces representing “space” I worked indoors and outdoors. Eventually, it all came together in Pasquino, the talking statue. I kept track of the journey by daily filming the progress and once complete I brought it the full journey together in one video.
Janine
What stood out to me was the word "integrating". It's truly a soul retrieval, what you are doing on so many levels, to ground yourself again and to not only find the balance between spirit and earth (higher self and humanity) but also combining them to one. It's truly you making connection to yourself, your essence, which contains both, all. I feel the movements you are in and what you are offering on Facebook is exactly that: Reconnecting to all kind of aspects of yourself! and bringing them together, integrating them back home. Which in a way is your true self, is YOU and simultaneously beyond YOU (which is you, too).
Also the "not knowing why"... when reading your why, I immediately saw the letter Y (pronounced the same way). Again You! And also the openness of your channel, symbolically like a funnel to bring all the divine energies in.
The disconnection and disturbance leading you straight to connection!
And doing your full-spectrum research feels to me like honoring the full-spectrum of yourself and of your soul-retrieval and of your whole being. The full-spectrum, in a way the complexity, you are talking about, too. Yet I feel, the coming back together in complexity leads to simplicity at last. (giving space to complexity is restoring simplicity).
That's the personal reorganization of your situation, which also has huge effects on the collective, door opener. Successfully creating a new Facebookgroup that lives by itself, the Zebra is there to call you forth and to support you!
So happy to see this and read about your journey